Me Time Vs We Time: A Mom’s Dilemma!!

I am a mother since seven years now and since the time I first held my firstborn, my daughter in my arms there has been no me time in my life. Well ok, honestly, I had some me time for a brief period of time when my daughter joined a formal school but the very next year I had my second one and now don’t ask me what is me time.

Time to time there have been not one but many factors that have stopped me from doing so. First it was breastfeeding phase, then weaning off phase, at times my mom hormones have been high, at times my kids’ have been having separation anxiety issues.

Sharing with you all a few incidents that I have had faced in my life in past few years –

Scene 1

Post Parturm with Kid 2 day 20. Bathing was a luxury and totally depended upon Kid 2’s schedule.

Me (to kid 1) – “Beta I am going to take a bath, baby is sleeping you just don’t make noise.”

5 minutes after I enter the bathroom.

Kid 1 (shouting loudly) – “Mumma lekin aap – kab taklargee, I will miss you.”

Scene 2

Kid 2 was in womb and I was waiting to see Kid 1 off to her school bus so that I could catch up with some sleep as I had slept very late night and had to get up early to prep up missy for school.

PS : Hubby was on a business trip.

Kid 1 (sobbing) – “Mumma I will miss you in school.”

Me – “Beta I will miss you too.”

Kid 1 (by now she was howling) – “Mumma you come to drop me to school today, I don’t want to go by bus.”

Me (in my thoughts) – “Rest, sleep, walk blah blah blah.”

Scene 3

Kid 2 was 7 months old and now not totally dependent on breastmilk.

Hubby – “I will take care of the kids you go and have a good lunch with your friends.”

Me (took out my new dress which I was waiting to wear since long) – “Wow so today I can wear what I want and not worry about carrying kids, breastfeeding etc etc etc.”

With a lot of excitement I got ready in my new dress with colour coordinated footwear, sling bag (a welcoming change from diaper bags), make up and earring.

Me (to hubby) – “Let me just kiss kids bye bye once.”

Hubby – “No need they are playing and occupied, leave quietly.”

Me – ” No hubby, I have read in a child psychology book that mom should never leave the house without saying bye to the kids.

So went to say bye to kids. Picked up Kid 2 to kiss him and there he went. Puked all over me spoiling my dress, make up, bag, shoes and above all my enthusiasm of going out.

Hubby – “Wish you had read something about When all odds are against you.”

Scene 4

February 2020

Me (to hubby) – “I am going to put Kid 2 in a play school from July onwards. Let’s start with an hour and then gradually increase to three hours. I will finally have three hours of my life for myself.”

Hubby – “Totally your call and going to school will help him pick up more words (he speaks a little less for his age).

And then came a Scene which is seeming to be never ending Covid 19. All my plans of sending Kid 2 to school, joining a zumba class, having at least three hours of my time for myself, having sanity and what not have not seen light.

That is the biggest dilemma of a mom’s life is – Me time Vs We time.

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