The calmness in my chaos.

Scene one – Me whispering in my daughter’s ears ” Chitrangada get up beta you have your online class in some time.”

Scene two – I am worried about her breakfast because she can’t be staying empty stomach till the class isn’t over.

Scene three – I am cursing my hubby for not realising that our daughter needs to be fed on time.

Scene four – Younger one wakes up and now I am literally having a panic attack because he is infamous for not letting his sister attend the class.

So basically, my mornings are total chaos these days. With no maid, two kids, a husband who is very helpful but on his own convenience. Oh, wait! This is just the morning story I am not even getting into the whole day routine, where the common worries are -:

1. Increased screentime;
2. Well, balanced diet;
3. Elder one’s studies;
4. Younger one’s safety (he is quite an accident-prone child);
5. Household chores;
6. My work;
7. Regular sanitization;
8. Elder one’s behavioural issues;
9. Younger one’s speech delay;
10. Life in general.

God, I could at least list ten of them. Now I won’t deny all this started taking a toll on my mental health and I was either shouting, crying, feeling depressed or working tirelessly all the time.

Thankfully, I realised very soon that it isn’t going to last long this way and that I will have to find the calmness in my chaos and I did.

Here is a listing of the things that I follow to stay calm and sane -:

1. Look at only positives – if there is too much negativity around then by cribbing about it we are also just adding to it. I decided to change that, now I am constantly looking out for positive people and positivity around. If I find something or someone negative I try to leave a loving or caring emotion there (positivity is infectious too, you never know when your positivity might just infect someone).

2. Stay away from the comparison of type – it’s only more negative and stressful to compare yourself, your kids, your situation, your lifestyle, your spouse, your in-laws or anyone to anyone because it’s very cliche but a truth that every person, every child, every relationship, every household is different and comparing them only hurts and not doesn’t benefit.

3. Acknowledge the fact that not everything shown on social media is true – so someone posting a picture being all dressed up with perfect hair, perfect make-up and a broad smile on the face might just have a messed up home, glued on-screen kids and chaos running in the mind and if not for some sanity or a deadline that person won’t have taken out time for this. It’s all about priority at that time.

4. Acknowledge the fact that not everything shown on social media is fake – as big truth the previous point is equally big is this one too. Not everything on social media is fake so don’t hesitate in taking motivation from there. If someone has posted about how they manage their time then there is no harm in trying those tips in our lives too. Even if someone is listing his or her superpowers to boast, there is nothing wrong in learning a thing or two.

5. Make sure you take out some time in a day just for yourself – I never realised the importance of “me time” earlier as I do now. Every day make sure that you spend some time just with yourself. It can be an early morning tea, late night book reading, a small selfie session or doing nothing but just being with yourself and mind you nothing is for free, you might even have to sacrifice your sleep for that.

6. Get dressed up – do this every day. Wear good clothes. Put on that kajal, lip balm/lipstick, body mist or anything that makes you feel good.

7. Indulge in the skin or hair care or better in both – I know in times when we have so much to do, indulging in skin or hair care seems remote idea but do that ladies. Yes, it would take some time but in the end, it will make you feel so good. You don’t need me to tell you that there are thousands of DIY face/hair packs on youtube or buy them if you want to but a hair pack once in a week and a face pack twice in a week will really boost your mood.

8. Play games with your kids – we often keep on stressing about kids, while that is justified but does it really helps. It will not make them understand anything rather would further confuse them on what is it that is bothering their mum. Once in a while become a kid with them. Like if your kids are having a pool party and are playing with water, go join the fun, not only will it make you happy but also the kids will be happy. If they are playing with paint then paint each other’s face with tattoos. If they are watching rhymes or songs then go dance with them. Your stressing will not stop them from doing what they are (and it should not) so why not join the fun?

9. Leave the mess once in a while – ok so your house is looking like a mess? So what? Leave it like that and nap when the kids nap. Your house doesn’t have to look spick and span every single day, some mess once in a while really is ok.

10. Don’t judge others – because when you judge other’s you are unknowingly and indirectly putting a lot of pressure on yourself. If you are judging some one for allowing kids to have some screentime while they eat then you are unnecessarily pressurising yourself about what should be done and how it should be done, whereas, the fact is you have to take each day as it comes.

Ladies, life doesn’t come with a rule book so don’t be hard on yourself. Scheduling and maintaining a routine is very good and important too but some realxations specially in stressful times like this won’t do anyone any harm. So, let the house be a mess, let the kids play, let the husband sleep.

Like Dalai Lama once said – “The purpose of our lives is to be happy.”

Stay Happy!

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